Dear Facebook: Quit Zucking Everything Up

My relationship with Facebook is love-hate.  I fell in love when I started using it for business, as it was a goldmine for personalized PR.  But as I got to know it, I started getting this creepy feeling of carefully agenda-ed evil brewing, and the rosy lenses shading my eyes began to deteriorate.  I still like that I earn a salary using it, but the amorous appeal has most certainly decayed.

Really I guess it’s Mark Zuckerberg that I don’t trust.  Maybe it’s the profuse sweating he does when asked about privacy issues, or maybe it’s the obscenity he used to describe those who trust him with their information.  It could have something to do with how he paid to spread lies about darling Google.  But still, Facebook was a good idea, even if it wasn’t Zuckerberg’s idea.

Lately though, it’s gotten much harder to defend Facebook.  It’s become the new MySpace.  Dig deep into your memory; there was a time in the long-long ago that MySpace was without the status bar.  It got one shortly after Facebook invented it.  And remember when Facebook chat came out? What was right on its heels? Ah yeah, MySpace chat.

But what’s happened to that innovative chat feature now?  It’s pissing people off all over the place, because the sidebar only shows the first names in your friends list, rather than the ones who are online.  And it’s so strange that they just launched video chat, just as Google+ hangouts became available. What a coincidence.

Another coincidence is how the friend feature changed on Facebook when the Circles feature became so popular.  Facebook has gotten used to stealing ideas. After all, it’s tried to consume the success of many lovable websites, like, FourSquare, Groupon, and even sweet Gmail.  When they tore down, I was devastated, but it was when they started after Google that I officially told Facebook to Zuck off.

The whole point of the network was to get away from the drama of MySpace.  Guess what – it’s caught up.  All the same crap about DFS taking so-and-so’s kids has made Facebook into a Wall of Shame, and  I’m tired of my feed only showing certain users, often those who I couldn’t care less about, while people I would like to keep up with are shut out.

I especially hate trying to contact Facebook for ANYTHING EVER because the support is simply not there.   The help pages are generally a joke and I have to seek out blogs almost every time I have an issue.  Trying to claim a community page? Good zucking  luck!  You’ll get an autoreply that promises service within a week, but don’t count on ever hearing from them.

I’m pretty sure Suckerberg’s idea was to get everyone hooked and then start charging businesses for their usage, expanding on the advertising dollars already coming in.  But Google’s put a kink in his hose, and it’s about damn time.

I think the problem is, well, for one, as I mentioned, Facebook has gotten in the habit of stealing ideas.  And two, they keep getting caught zucking up, but no one ever leaves the network over it.   There is a growing sense of immunity that will ultimately lead to the fall of Facebook, just as it did for that one site… what was that called? MySpace, I think it was.  Especially with a new option offered by the heroic Google.  Your days are numbered, villain.


About inkstainedknuckle

I'm a social media specialist with a fresh outlook and keen sense of diction. The world is my walnut.
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